literature

Je Suis Malade

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Literature Text

Je Suis Malade
by
RM

    Being a leader made me forget what love felt like, what dreams were for, and what a simple smile meant. 

    I had to stand out tall, my words must be wise, my tears got dried, and my spark still aches from all the emptiness inside. 

    I’m sick from all the battle cries, from this painful life, from the dried blood stains on my hands. 

    They can't see through me. They can't read me. They can't tell that I'm sick, that I'm tired, that I'm dying, that I’m breaking.   

    The silence becomes louder and louder every second. In the darkness, I'm left alone with my despair. I always feel like barricades surround me. 

    I cannot run. I cannot hide. I cannot cry. I can only fight. I don’t know when I might die.

    There are no words from my spark. There are no smiles I can give. The silence keeps singing it's saddest lullaby, trying to help me live.  

    I stand by the monitor silently, typing away quietly as my mind drifts to a place where Cybertron is nothing more than a memory.

    They try to talk to me. They try to help me, but my pain is too great. I know I can no longer be saved. 

    I pretend to be happy; I pretend to be glad. I pretend to be fine so that they don't worry. 

    Even through my pain, I try to hope; I try to talk, I try to wish for peace to come back to the world I once knew, to the world where I once grew without this pain and despair. 

    Can they even hear me? Can they even see me? I am sick, but I won't let anyone see.

The End

Optimus Prime is the greatest leader of the Autobots. He fights and protects what's right. However, he's always in pain. He's been in pain ever since he became a leader. The war made him sick. Very sick. He may be strong on the inside, but on the inside, he's full of pain.
This is not a story (or maybe it is), this is just what Optimus is thinking all the time. He does not complain of his status, he's just expressing how he feels deep in his spark. In fact, I've always wondered what he truly felt ever since I started listening to Je Suis Malade by Lara Fabian. 
The phrase "Je Suis Malade" means "I am sick" in English.
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Fan-Fiction ©❀RM❀
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Corporal-Chaordic's avatar
The burden of command.